Dear Santa,
Can i have some wishes? I hope everyone around me will be happy and healthy... no more sadness and poverty.. No more fights and quarrels..
Have i been implanted in a r/s so deep i cant pull myself out from this misery?
Wad can i do except mock at my own foolishness?
Have i not a good girl that's why i get this type of retribution?
Wad can i do except mock at my own childishness?
Have i been hurting others so bad this is all
happening to me?
Wad can i do except mock at my own
stubbornness?
Have i been wrong in wanting to be with that someone so bad it kills from deep inside?
Wad can i do except mock at my own selfishness?
Have i been wrong to think about this day and night for the past 1 week i cant breathe?
Wad can i do except mock at my own craziness?
So Dear Santa.. help me.. tell me.. why are there
ppl in this world who make their firm stands and still get things they want? Why the decisions in my life is made by someone else but me?
Why they ASSUME
i'm wasting my youth and time when i dun think
im not? Why am i crying as i type? Is it silly of me? Am i a stupid fool who cant take charge of my own life? Am i a sweetheart in someone
else's heart? Who can tell me Wad will become of me 5yrs down the road? I'm not greedy to ask for a lifetime though i hope i can.. All i want is for things to happen naturally.. rather than putting a
fullstop to this chapter in my life..
I cant smile because it happened because its still in progress.. I cant think about any other things because all i have now is thoughts of the past and present... Future is
smth that is build by me and
ppl around me.. if that someone around me wishes to walk away..
wer will i end up? how will i end up? what will i end up?
Just a simple 4-letter word like L.O.V.E holds a million meanings to each and everyone of us...
Wad is love? sweet? bitter? tiring?
tomenting? painful? crazy? exciting? fun? .... the list goes on...
Wad do we use to measure love?
A filled- up pail? as times go by.. it dries up?
A pair of shoes? can
onie fit the right and only one person?
A bowl of rice? can fill you up and warms u from within?
A paper plane? That flies in the direction of no where?
A zoo? with many other competitors?
So many analysis of things.. i dunno how to go about it.. Is he waiting for me to say it out rather than he say it? so that the guilt will be lesser? Wad if i never say out and he keeps avoiding the topic and slowly drift away from my life?
Dear Santa... I know i should be happy that i am wad i am.. i have wad i have... if it takes 5yrs of my life for this short-lived happiness... let me die in peace then... disappear from this surface of the earth.. like a piece of trash.. noted by some
ppl but
didnt bother to do anything
abt it..
*~ signing off ~* don't miss me too much paws..
u'll always be my best
fren.. to my mum..
sorry
im not the best daughter in the world... hope
i've at least brought u more happiness than pain.. To my bro and sis ... thanks for being a part in my life.. and to the rest of my
frens and family i wish u all health and happiness... to
noob mui..
pls dun be gullible and get cheated by guys.. i hope he is
ur last one.. love u all to bits... to derrick.. dun blame me for
nt being patient
enuf to wait for
ur ans....
i'll always
rmb u... and
pls dun worry for me.. this is not my will... i din decide to die... i just very
emo right now.. irrational perhaps? leave me...
Labels: Dear Santa
healthy always
BeeBee
October 2008