Why does things always turn out this way? Why we don't get support from ppl we know?
Esp ppl we love... it will break their hearts if i follow my heart.. why am i so lost?
Wer is the hand that always stretches out for me when i need it?
Does it have to be this way?
There's no turning back once i made this decision from de start.. Is tis a joke?
Why am i feeling so fed up?
Is it the wrong time?
Am i that unacceptable? Unlikeable? Unbearable?
I dunno how to help him lift the stress from everything..
I onie know on my part i have to understand and accept things the way it is..
But i think i screwed up.. I failed... Once again i'm back in this pit.. dark and endless... cold and alone... this reallie sucks alot..
Why do ppl blame each other in stead of seeing the person's good points? Are we all born selfish?
Yes to all of the above for me... I'm such person too.. Are u? shy to admit huh.. readers..
It's okie.. No one will admit they are selfish openly.. not that anyone i know of..
Perhaps i shud reallie start my big revamp of life next year.. going overseas.. explore the world.. take my degree.. get my license... hopefully my life will be complete if i have u by my side..
I guess here i am.. selfish again.. ask for too much...
I once heard a tale.. they say when u have too much in ur life.. somehow or rather.. u'll lose it eventually.. Afterall, we came to this world with nth.. That's probably true in some sense..
Today talked to joanna abt my love life.. She's reallie supportive.. moreover, her hubby is younger than her too.. and still dotes on her and the family.. *envious*
I feel so useless not being able to do anything to help make tis workable.. i can't stop other ppl from talking... neither can i change the way u feel rite now.. I can onie sit in one corner of my bed and pray if we still believe in ourselves.. that we can overcome all obstacles... Prove to the ppl talking abt how we will end up in.. WRONG.. Can WE? Will WE? Shall WE?
I dunno.. i nid an ans... i nid a direction to follow now.. totally lost in my mixed feelings...
Like a shrimp in vast seas.. hit by waves after waves...
Like any ordinary star in the big sky...
Shall end here.. no mood le..
*signed off*
Labels: Mixed Feelings
healthy always
BeeBee
October 2008